


I'm torn to be right where you are

by CosmicCrossing



Category: Sword Art Online (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Eugeo has to wait five whole days to see Kirito again and it drives him up a wall, Eugeo pines HARD like the baby he is, F/F, Fluff, I'll add more tags as we go along!, Liz just decides to give Kirito a whole ass person for his birthday it’s fine, M/M, Multi, Pining, Post-Canon, Post-Canon Fix-It, The Alisuna/SiLizLeafa is more of a background thing lol but it's there!!, There's also hints of Silica/Lux in here /eyes emoji/, YujiKiri, birthday fic, ’Here you go I got you a living breathing boyfriend as a gift. Don’t forget to use protection’
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-17
Updated: 2019-06-21
Packaged: 2020-05-13 08:08:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19247215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CosmicCrossing/pseuds/CosmicCrossing
Summary: Liz isn’t stupid. She can tell that Kirito’s been distant ever since he came back from Underworld, and everyone else in their little group has noticed it, too. Losing Eugeo had been a harsh blow—tooharsh—and his absence has taken its toll on the black-haired hero.Luckily, Kirito’s birthday is coming up, and the best present ever just so happened to fall right into Liz’s lap.What better birthday gift is there than the very boy Kirito’s been missing so much?





	1. Merrily we fall out of line

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoo-wee hello SAO fandom!! I have brought to you a post-canon fix-it fic because I’m bitter af at canon. Eugeo’s mine now they can’t have him anymore lol I’m claiming custody
> 
> I swear to all that is holy I never ever expected I’d get so deeply into the fandom—I’ve always enjoyed the series despite all of the backlash and criticisms it has but I never quite got extremely attached to it. Until the Alicization arc!! One (1) adorable pure boy kicked down my door and shot me in the heart, killing me instantly, so here we are a month or so later lmaooo
> 
> I am so enamored with Yujikiri—they easily climbed to the top of my favorite ships list and if you follow me on tumblr you would know I’ve been blabbing about them nonstop ever since I started watching season 3. (I am so sorry to anyone else who follows me who’s had to put up with how annoying I’ve been dnamfnwndn) SO YEAH UHHH if you want some good Yujikiri content come hmu, my blog is shima-draws and I’ve made lots of art with these dorks too so!
> 
> Anyway this is gonna be a multi-chaptered fic, yeah!! This first chap is more like a prologue than anything, it’s real short, please forgive me—but the rest of it will be a lot longer!! Chapter 2 is literally three times the length of this one it’s like 6k words. LMAO
> 
> Since it’s become habit at this point this fic is named after a song! It’s called I Wouldn’t Mind by He Is We it’s a REALLY cute song and it fits these boys so well!! The chapter titles are gonna be lyrics from this song too ^^
> 
> Also I figured I'd mention that the first chapter is all from Liz's POV (and I had to adjust to calling her Rika since this takes place irl and not in ALO so it was. WEIRD LOL) but the rest of the chapters are probably gonna be from Eugeo's perspective...and Kirito's! Liz is just the catalyst for all this crazy stuff lol  
> Oh and!! I'm not caught up with the light novels so the majority of this is gonna be me bullshitting off of what I somewhat know of what happens after vol 14 (I'm currently at the very end of vol 10 so. GETTING THERE. SLOWLY.) I'll touch upon this more next chapter since that's where most of my ideas/headcanons come in so. We'll get to that later c:
> 
> SORRY THIS GOT SO LONG I love to ramble it seems—anyway!! Anyway!! Here we go!

It is a cold October evening when the doorbell to Rika’s residence rings. She is bundled up in comfy sleepwear, her hair freshly brushed, and her slippers tap softly against the wooden floors as she makes her way over to the front door.

She pulls it open and nearly jumps when Asuna comes flying in, her breath fogging up the air, her cheeks flushed from the chill as she erupts into tiny little shivers. Rika quickly closes the door behind her as her friend thaws out, breathing out a sigh of relief at the warmth flooding back into her fingers and cheeks.

“Sorry about that, Liz,” Asuna apologizes as she removes her coat. “It’s freezing out there!”

“Yeah, I kinda noticed,” Rika teases, crossing her arms. “Anyway, you’re late! Alice and Shino have been here for almost twenty minutes already!”

“I’m sorry!” The girl squeaks, following after Rika once her shoes are off. “The station was so crowded, I could barely even move...! I swear I left the house on time, it’s just that there was traffic and—”

The brunette bursts into amused laughter. “Asuna, chill! It’s fine. We’ve all just been chatting and getting ready while we’ve been waiting.”

“Okay,” is her flustered response, though she smiles anyway.

Rika guides her into her room, where Alice and Shino are on the beanbags in the corner, chatting idly.

“Look who decided to finally show up,” she grins, nudging Asuna with her hip, who makes a soft noise of complaint.

Shino tilts her head and gives the auburn-haired girl a nod of greeting. “Hey, Asuna.”

“Hi, Sinonon!” Asuna quickly pads over to join them on the floor, tucking her legs neatly beneath her. “Hi, Alice.”

The blonde smiles warmly. “Hello, Asuna.”

Rika claps her hands together. “Alright! Everyone is here. Great!” She skips across the room to throw herself into her computer chair, spinning around in circles a few times before finally catching herself with her foot. “Now the official ‘Kirito’s special birthday present council meeting’ can begin!”

Shino chuckles, albeit awkwardly. “Does the title have to be so long...?”

Alice gazes around, her eyes narrowing in thought. “Is it just the four of us? What about Silica-san and Leafa-san and the others?”

Rika throws her head back dramatically. “Oh, woe is me, to not be graced by the presence of mine other girlfriend.”

Shino turns to Alice and shrugs. “We wanted to get Suguha in on this too, but we figured it might be difficult for her to keep a secret from Kirito, especially since they live together. And Silica—Keiko-san—is currently on a date with Hiyori-san, so she couldn’t make it.”

“Ah, I see...” The blonde hums, nodding in agreement. “That makes sense.”

“It sucks that we have to keep this from Sugu-chan, but I’m sure she’ll understand,” Rika says as she prods Shino with her foot. “And we didn’t want to make this a huge deal, either. Also if we told Ryou there’s no way he’d keep his mouth shut.” 

Alice frowns. “Ryou...?”

“Klein,” the three girls say simultaneously.

“Oh...”

Asuna giggles a little. “Sorry, I know you’re still adjusting to using everyone’s names, both online and offline. If there’s anything that confuses you, make sure you ask, okay? We can clear it up right away!”

The look that Alice gives Asuna is unbelievably soft, and Rika and Shino grin at each other knowingly. “Thank you, Asuna. I will.”

“Okay, that settles that,” Rika says, stretching her arms out behind her head. “You all know the details, right? Should be pretty straightforward. We’ll work out all the kinks and specific stuff later, but for now we should actually double check and make sure our surprise is still willing and able to participate.”

“Sounds good to me,” Shino agrees.

“Alice, can you shoot him a text and tell him we’re all here? I’ll log on and get the video chat set up,” Rika asks.

“On it.”

“Ooh, this is exciting!” Asuna gushes, her eyes bright. “Kirito-kun’s been so down lately, so I’m sure this will cheer him right back up!”

“In more ways than one,” Shino adds, smirking.

“He’s been a total mess ever since he came back from Underworld,” Rika observes from where she’s typing on her keyboard. “I mean yeah, that would mess anyone up. But it’s just been _bad_.”

Asuna sighs and twirls a piece of her hair around her finger. “It’s been difficult, especially since Kirito-kun and I...aren’t together anymore, so Suguha-chan has been dealing with the worst of it. My heart just aches for both of them...”

“The amount of times Suguha’s called us all frantic because of Kirito is crazy,” Shino murmurs. “I mean, what am I supposed to say to someone who tells me their brother is crying into his cereal?”

Rika snorts at that, and then covers her mouth. “I’m sorry, that was rude. But come on, it’s kinda funny picturing it.”

“Liz,” Asuna chides.

“Okay, not funny. Got it. My bad.”

“He definitely hasn’t been the same,” Alice speaks up. Her fingers gently tap on her phone’s screen. “Before the battle at the top of the Central Cathedral, when I first met him, he seemed like an entirely different person.”

“Losing the one you love takes a heavy toll,” Shino says.

“I...honestly can’t even remember the last time I’ve seen him genuinely smile at anything,” Asuna admits sadly.

The room becomes heavy with silence, each of the girls lost in their memories of Kirito’s increasingly worrying behavior. They had thought that with time, Kirito would recover from the blow, even if it was slow—but the more days, weeks, months pass, the more empty and broken the black-haired teen seems to become.

“Well,” Alice breaks the oppressive atmosphere with a determined look. “If all goes well, which it should, he’ll be back to being himself in no time.”

Rika beams. “Yeah, you’re right! No more moping about things we can’t change. Right now, what we’re doing for him is what really counts!”

“Amen,” Shino laughs, and the rest of them join her, their voices merry and full of hope.

“Did he answer you, Alice?”

“Yes,” the blonde replies. “He’s ready. Just finished another checkup, so good timing.”

“Guess it’s good that Asuna was late after all,” Rika sings, shooting a grin at her.

“Liz! Come on...”

“You shouldn’t tease her so much, Rika,” Shino sighs, but the smile on her face gives her away.

“I do it out of love. Love. Now get over here, you three! I’m gonna start the call now.”

They all shuffle over, crowding behind Rika to fit properly within the dimensions of her camera. Asuna squeaks and smooths out her shirt.

“What’re you getting all nervous for, Asuna? We’ve talked to him before!”

“I know, I know! It’s just...it’s the anticipation!”

Rika rolls her eyes. “Alright, weirdo. I’m going to dial.”

They wait with bated breath as the tone sounds from the computer. Several seconds pass. One...two...three...

The screen blinks to life and on the other end sits a boy with aqua green eyes, blonde hair and a gentle smile. An aura of kindness seems to radiate off of him despite the tired-looking circles under his eyes and the heaviness to his shoulders. He wears a simple black t-shirt with a blue stripe across the middle, which hangs loosely off his frame. Clearly he’s been suffering without the presence of his beloved, too.

Rika folds her arms on the desk and winks cutely at the camera.

“Hey there, Eugi-kun!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nobody knows when or why Liz started calling Eugeo "Eugi-kun" but they're all used to it by now lmao  
> Also it's been long enough that they'd all start using nicknames for each other too. Esp Klein since he and Liz give everyone else nicknames. Let them call him Ryou it's the cutest gosh darn tHING
> 
> The crying in the cereal thing made me cackle at first but then I thought it would probably be like that one scene in Spirited Away when Chihiro's crying as she eats the rice balls Haku gives her and then I was like. Awww baby :'(
> 
> I'm yellin bc this chapter is SO short compared to how I usually write. I write like a monster. I'm sorry for such a short intro I promise the next one is like, three times as long, like I said :'0
> 
> Originally this was gonna be a oneshot but because my over achieving ass cannot keep things short for the life of me lmao I’m splitting it up :’D I also wanted to post it on Kirito’s actual birthday but. That’s in October. I ain’t waiting that long. I’m too impatient whe e ze
> 
> Since it was mentioned briefly—Kirito and Asuna broke up, long before he started working with Rath :0c That's just a big headcanon I have for all my Yujikiri fics (even the WIP ones! I have more than just this one planned lol) but yeah they were really amicable about it and are still on super good terms so! Asuna's gay for Alice now anyway so it's cool. LOL
> 
> I actually did tease a different fic in the works on my tumblr a little while ago—but I wanted to share this one first, since it's a bit happier and less tense than the other one (which is a fix-it fic directly going off the end of ep 24. Kirito says "fuck this" and saves Eugeo's life before he dies and it's great). And I have a feeling I'll get this one written faster anyway jadnjask
> 
> //collapses Whew I think that's everything—next chap should be up in a day or two, from Eugeo's POV!! It's a long one too so hopefully it's worth the wait haha. Gotta pace this a bit. I haven't even started writing chapter three AH
> 
> See you all next time!! Come hmu on tumblr and chat with me about Yujikiri I love them so mUCH


	2. I'm not afraid anymore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna try to keep this short and sweet since I rambled on and on in the last A/N dakbmsdmas BEAR WITH ME!!
> 
> As you will probably notice this chapter is a LOT longer than the last one (which is why it took me so long to finish it hence my stalling on uploading this in the first place. Lol) reaching a whopping total of almost 6k words. Yell heah  
> The rest of the chapters will vary in length but knowing me they'll probably be as long as this one, if you were curious ;)
> 
> Anyway as I said in the last chapter's notes!! I am reading the light novels but I'm nowhere near finished (only at the very end of volume 10) so a lot of the info in this is me totally bullshitting! From what I read I'm p sure Rath shuts down after Kirito and Alice leave the Underworld permanently but in this fic they're still around, and on the Ocean Turtle (which is where Eugeo also is, currently!)  
> As for Alice and Eugeo's robotic bodies I'm sure they go into the schematics of that but since I have not gotten that far. Again. I totally improvised //jazz hands SO KEEP THAT IN MIND LOL  
> Concerning Eugeo's revival, I gloss over it. Very very briefly. But it'll be brought up again later in greater detail lol. The staff at Rath helped a lot with it but the Underworld's system helped too ;) 
> 
> I changed the rating for this fic bc I realized that it concerns some more;; adulty topics and I can tell, even now without having written it yet, there's gonna be lots of kisses in this fic later on. Steamy kisses. YUM
> 
> Honestly I don't have much to say this time around--except, wow, thank you guys so much?? The overwhelming support I've gotten on this so far has been wonderful--honestly I've never seen any of my fics get kudos so fast. It means a lot, thank you <3 And with that, I'll give you the next chapter! Enjoy!!

“That’s all for today!”

Eugeo sits up and stretches with a soft groan, rubbing the tiredness out of his eyes. He can’t even begin to count the number of tests that have been run on him since he attained this body—and adjusting to the fast pace and weird new technology of the “real world” hasn’t been very easy either. All of the things he’s been told over the past several weeks jumble in his mind until they mix into one big confusing mess, and he reaches up to massage his temples in order to relieve the ache in his head.

“You’re lucky that we’ve already had a trial and error period with Alice,” the nurse, Aki Natsuki, says kindly from where she’s putting all of her strange medical tools away. “She had to go through a lot more of these checkups than you, being our prototype test run for these artificial bodies!”

Across from him, leaning against the wall with his arms folded, stands a relaxed Takeru Higa, an amused smile on his face. Next to him is Koujiro Rinko, who is quietly typing away on her phone. These three people are the ones Eugeo’s been in contact with the most since he awoke here, and they’ve been nothing but kind to him, despite being part of the staff of the so-called “gods” of his Underworld. Still, they’d immediately put him into contact with Alice, who had already been outside in the “real world” for several months. And, much to his immense delight, Alice was also still very close with Kirito, who Eugeo was worried about the most ever since he realized he’d been brought into the world where his best friend had originated from.

“How are you feeling?” Aki asks him, coming over to inspect him more closely.

“I’m fine,” Eugeo answers honestly. “Just a little tired, I suppose.”

“That’s good!” Aki chirps. “That means your body is working the way it’s supposed to. Tiredness, hunger, pain...being able to emulate those sorts of things, even if they aren’t pleasant, is what will make you feel more human.”

Eugeo nods in understanding. At first, when he was told he’d be inhabiting an artificial body, he was a bit nervous to think that he wouldn’t function as he used to back in Underworld—but they’d gone to great measures to ensure that he felt as human as possible, even if his robotic body processes things a bit differently than a regular human one. (Finding out he was an artificial soul was a huge shock as well, but by now he’s gotten used to the fact, as weird as it feels.)

“Well, for now, just take it easy. And go to bed early tonight,” she tells him, giving his shoulder a friendly pat. “We’re almost done with these pesky tests. Soon enough we’ll be able to release you so you can go see your friends.”

“I’ll be able to see Kirito soon?” Eugeo asks excitedly, his heart fluttering at the thought. That’s all he wants, really...of course he wants to see Alice too, but since the moment he first opened his eyes to the medical bay’s ceiling, he’s barely been able to think about anything else.

He wants to see Kirito. He wants to pull him close and tell him all the things he wasn’t able to before he died...even if Kirito doesn’t feel the same way, Eugeo won’t let this chance escape him a second time. He’s absolutely determined to make the black-haired boy realize just how much he means to him, no matter what.

Of course he’s had second thoughts about it, and the concept of confessing makes him dizzy with nervousness sometimes—but he knows that Kirito will still stay friends with him no matter the outcome, and that’s good enough. His first priority is to actually see him again, though—and luckily enough, his newfound friends have already started to put a plan in motion.

Speaking of which...

“Yes, yes, very soon!” Aki grins, a teasing glint in her eye. “We’ll make sure we get you all cleared before the 7th, don’t worry.”

The 7th—Kirito’s birthday. Eugeo had wanted to run into his arms way before then, but Rika, one of Kirito’s friends, had insisted he wait until his partner’s special day to reappear in his life again. Hence this whole plan falling into place, with his reluctant agreement.

“All set. Make sure you grab something to eat from the cafeteria, okay? We’ve got another meeting to go to, so we’ll leave you here,” Aki tells him, and he nods politely, still half lost in his thoughts. Higa gives him a wave before departing, and Rinko smiles, following him out, and then the room is empty.

A buzz from the little table besides him startles him a bit, but after picking up the device and realizing it’s just Alice, he relaxes.

It’s weird how these little devices resemble Stacia windows, but with way more options and screens than he’s used to. It had taken a large adjustment period and lots of laughter from Higa’s end as he showed Eugeo the basic functions of this so-called “cell phone”—the most integral technology that allows humans to communicate over vast distances with just the tap of a button. (Needless to say, Eugeo was very fascinated. But also easily overwhelmed.)

The “Internet” is a place they’d told him to stay away from, at least for now. But he’s adapted to the texting function and video call options from the computer (basically, what they called a bigger phone), which was the most important step. Sometimes Eugeo can’t believe he’s talking with Alice even though she’s hundreds of miles away back in Japan, though the proof is right there. It would have been so nice to have phones like these back in the Underworld...how easy it could have been to just text Alice from Rulid and known how she was doing right away.

Looking down at his messages, he blinks in surprise. Right. They’d planned on chatting more about their plans for Kirito’s birthday today, hadn’t they?

 **Alice:** _Everyone has arrived at Rika-san’s house safely. Are you still available to call?_

It’s weird how stiff and formal she sounds, but at this point Eugeo’s long accepted the fact that Alice Synthesis Thirty is not the childhood friend he once treasured. Even so, he’s still happy to be friends with her, implanted memories or not.

 **Me:** _Yes! I just finished a checkup, so I’ll be on soon_.

With that he hurriedly pulls his clothes back on (having stripped down to his undergarments for the testing) and hops onto the computer in the corner of the lab, which is what he’s been using to video chat with the others for the past week or so. Right as he logs on the notification for an incoming call appears on the lower left side of the screen, so he clicks it. As the call loads, he scrambles to get himself back in order, hoping he doesn’t look as exhausted as he feels. When the screen expands, four girls sit on the other side of the camera.

Rika, a freckled girl with short brunette hair and sharp brown eyes, winks at him cutely. She’s the main leader of this little operation of theirs, and was the first one to befriend him after he’d gotten back in touch with Alice. And, unfortunately, she’s also the person who’s preventing him from contacting Kirito. Despite that, Eugeo likes her, a lot, finding her energy to be contagious. The way she’s so blunt about everything reminds him a lot of Kirito—along with her mischievousness.

“Hey there, Eugi-kun!”

He smiles softly. “Um, hi, Rika-san.”

“Nice to see you, Eugeo-kun!” From behind her, a girl with long auburn hair gives him a friendly little wave. Eugeo’s heart skips a beat.

According to Rika, Kirito used to date this girl, Asuna—for two long years, as much time as he’d spent with Kirito in Underworld (not counting the ten years they grew up together). The news that they’d broken up months before Kirito had arrived in Rulid for the first time had been a huge relief to the blonde, but he can’t help but be wary of her anyway. Her gentle smile and endless kindness soothe most of the hesitance he’d had in befriending her, though, and he knows just by looking at her that she wants what’s best for Kirito too.

He still can’t help that little twinge of jealousy, though. Asuna had shared two years with Kirito...the real Kirito, the one who existed solely in the “real world”, who had all of his memories and had a background that wasn’t connected with that of the Underworld’s. Eugeo can’t help but feel possessive of the time he spent with Kirito, just the two of them—that’s something Asuna can never witness, nor take away.

Still...Asuna has supported Rika 100% with this plan, and she seems more determined than anyone else to let him meet with Kirito again, so he knows he can trust her. She seems to be at peace with the status of her relationship with the black-haired teen, and for now, that’s enough.

“Hi again, Asuna-san,” Eugeo grins shyly at her.

Next is Shino, who dips her head politely, her dark pigtails bobbing. She’s quiet, thoughtful and reserved, yet fierce when she needs to be—a lot like Sortiliena-senpai. Apparently she’d gotten to know Kirito through an online game called Gun Gale Online, where together they had taken down a dangerous killer known as Death Gun. ( _That’s just like my partner to get into life threatening trouble,_ Eugeo had thought with a sigh when he first heard about the incident.)

Shino is like Rika’s control stick—someone who pulls her back when she becomes too rowdy. Eugeo thinks they fit really well together, and wonders what their dynamic is like with Suguha, their other girlfriend and Kirito’s sister. (Hearing about that was another huge shock as well—Kirito had a sister this entire time? Eugeo’s curious to see what she’s like.)

He’s truly astounded by the sorts of progress this world has gone through, not only technology-wise but even down to the evolution of social standards. In Underworld it was frowned upon to be in a same-sex relationship, let alone one with multiple partners, but here it’s pretty widely accepted and common. Which makes things easier for Eugeo, who has his sights set on a certain dark-eyed hero in particular.

Last but not least is Alice, who gives him a comforting smile, her blue eyes sharp as ever. Eugeo’s fluttering nerves calm down at the sight of her. If she’s comfortable with Kirito’s friends, then he can be, too. Even though it is sort of sad that he’s getting to know them before Kirito’s even realized he’s alive and _here._

“How did your checkup go? Did they poke and prod you with tons of medical tools?” Rika asks, almost smirking. Shino rolls her eyes and Eugeo resists the urge to giggle.

“Oh, well, you know, the usual,” he replies bashfully. “Calibration tests, fixing balance parameters, stuff like that.”

“I certainly had my fair share of those,” Alice remembers with a distasteful air.

“A lot more than I have, apparently,” Eugeo chuckles.

Her deadpan expression is almost terrifying. “Count yourself lucky. You can be their guinea pig if something goes wrong next time.”

“Thanks for your sacrifice,” he squeaks, clapping his hands together in a pleading gesture.

“You guys are a riot,” Rika laughs. “Anyway, they’re gonna let you go soon, right? You have to be here on the 7th or else!”

“I definitely will,” Eugeo says, firmly. “I wouldn’t miss this for the world.”

“Good. Now Kirito can finally go back to being himself,” Shino mutters.

At that, Eugeo frowns. A tendril of worry snakes around his heart. “Kirito...how has he been doing? I didn’t really get to hear much last time...”

Alice and Asuna share a worried glance. Rika stubbornly refuses to meet his eyes, and Shino looks away guiltily. That tendril begins to tighten, making him feel light-headed.

Asuna seems to pick up on the desperation that’s showing on his face, for she swallows and answers hesitantly, “He’s been...really distant. He gets lost in thought a lot, and...he tries to smile, but it just looks...sad. He’s been going to therapy, of course, and counseling, but...”

“We always try to get him involved in ALO quests with us and stuff,” Rika adds, her expression weirdly serious. “He seems to cheer up when we’re out doing missions. But at school or when we’re not occupied with fighting bosses he just...I don’t know. It doesn’t seem like he’s all there.”

“We know he’s hurting, but he doesn’t like talking about it,” Shino murmurs, tugging on one of her pigtails nervously. “Suguha’s seen the worst of his trauma, since she lives with him. He tries to keep her out of it, but...”

Asuna cups a hand over her mouth, her eyes shimmering with tears. “I’ve—I’ve caught him crying a couple times, b-by himself...”

Eugeo’s heart lurches and he feels as if he’s going to be sick. Kirito’s been suffering that much? He never realized that his death could have made such a powerful impact on the black-haired teen who always seemed to shine with an endless optimism—but he supposes if he were in Kirito’s shoes, he’d be devastated, too. Losing Kirito...he doesn’t even want to imagine such a dreadful thing. He squeezes his eyes shut and wills himself to breathe, suddenly overcome with an onslaught of emotions.

This is his fault, isn’t it?

Because he’d been so reckless. Because he’d fallen for Administrator’s manipulation rather than having gone through with the plan they’d went over so many times—

Because he didn’t want to live in a world without Kirito.

But Kirito feels the same way, doesn’t he?

In those final moments Eugeo had been terrified. Seeing Cardinal lose her life had caused a fear so powerful he could barely stand—the fear of losing Alice, of losing _Kirito_ , to Administrator’s seemingly endless power. But that in turn sparked a determination to make sure those fears never came to light. He wanted to be the one to take that step forward and defeat her, to finally be able to protect the people he cared about so much. He never would have viewed his sacrifice as a coward’s way out, but maybe that’s what it was in the end...

But still, if he were given the choice to go back and redo all of that, would he have given up his life for Kirito a second time?

 _Yes,_ he thinks immediately. _Without a doubt, I would have. If it comes down to me being the one to die, or him...I’m glad it was me. And I’d do it again._ Even if Eugeo had been aware that Kirito had another life in the so-called god’s realm, making him virtually unkillable within Underworld, the blonde still wouldn’t have let him die. He’d pick up his sword and fight, again and again, for the person he loves the most.

If Kirito had been the one to lose his life, Eugeo doubts he would have been strong enough to keep living without him. Kirito’s been his strength for so long, the driving force behind all of his actions, and someone he cares about so deeply that he can’t even begin to articulate why or how. Kirito had become his reason for living, besides just rescuing Alice, and if he’d died, Eugeo’s existence would have lost all purpose. He doesn’t think it would’ve taken him long to follow after Kirito if he had vanished for good.

And yet, with their positions reversed, Kirito is still living, breathing. Even if it hurts to, even if he can’t get those bittersweet memories out of his head, even if he can’t forget holding Eugeo in his arms as his life faded away and as his eyes dulled. Kirito really is the strongest person he knows—and Eugeo wants him to know that. _Needs_ him to know that. Eugeo doesn’t want Kirito to suffer anymore because of his mistakes.

He wants to see him. _I need to see him._ The feeling is so powerful it nearly sweeps him off his feet.

“I-I’m sorry,” Shino gasps, guilt written across her face as clear as day. “Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything—” 

“No,” Eugeo cuts her off, shaking his head as he tries to get a grip on his emotions. He won’t cry. Not now. “Thank you...for telling me. I wish things hadn’t ended up the way they did in Underworld, but...” He sighs, long and deep. “Kirito’s been...in a lot of pain because of the choices I made. And no matter what, I...I want to fix that. The thing I want most is to make sure he’s happy.” He pauses, hesitant. “Are you sure that this is the right way to go about it, though...?”

Rika gives him a thumbs up. “Absolutely! He’s been down in the dumps without you around, so obviously if we bring you back he’ll be totally overjoyed, right? I mean, what better birthday gift is there?”

Eugeo can feel his cheeks flushing. “I-I guess...”

“Don’t be so modest,” Alice speaks up. “You mean more to him than what can be said with words. One look at his face will tell you as much.”

The blonde inhales sharply, unable to resist hiding his face in embarrassment. Being this important to Kirito...of course, he knows that he has a special place in the black swordsman’s heart, being his best friend and companion for half his life, but...could it really be true that Kirito treasures him just as much?

Now he really can’t wait.

“I can’t do this,” he mumbles, shaking his head. He’s sure the girls can see how red his cheeks are. “I want—I want to see him right _now_ , I don’t want to wait...!”

He longs for that moment. That moment when he opens the door to find Kirito standing there, messy black hair and dark eyes full of determination, a teasing but fond smirk on his face as he beckons Eugeo along for another lifetime of adventure. It’s only been a few weeks since they were separated—several months on Kirito’s part—but Eugeo misses him, more than he’s ever missed anybody, more than he missed Alice after she’d been taken away. He wants to see Kirito so bad he can feel it in his _soul._ His Fluctlight is practically shouting at him to run to his best friend’s side and calm his distress. It’s an urge so powerful he can feel his entire body get tense from being so restless, suddenly hyper with pent up energy and adrenaline.

A devilish giggle echoes out of the computer’s speakers, and he risks a glance to see Rika with a hand over her mouth, her eyes narrowed playfully.

“Boy, you are so _whipped_ ,” she grins, looking like a cat who just got the cream. Eugeo immediately squeals, his blush creeping up to the tips of his ears.

“Aww,” Asuna giggles, smiling brightly at him. “I’m glad Kirito-kun has someone who cares about him so much.”

“Wha-pow, wha-pow,” Rika imitates cracking a whip, her smirk almost insufferable.

Shino reaches over to pull on her cheek, her tone admonishing. “Rika.”

“Owowow—come on, Shino, you know ish true!”

“You’re being a pest,” Alice states, to which Rika whines pathetically in protest.

 _Guess she’s got two gatekeepers now, huh,_ Eugeo thinks fondly.

“I think it’s adorable,” Asuna comments, winking at him.

Eugeo sputters, surprised by her words, but is extremely flattered nonetheless. It’s almost like she’s giving him the go-ahead to go after Kirito, completely disregarding her past romantic history with him.

He appreciates it. A lot.

“A-anyway,” he interrupts, trying to get things back on track. “I, uh. Isn’t there any way I could see him sooner...?” He knows it’s probably hopeless to ask but he does so anyway. Maybe one of the girls will take his side and let him contact Kirito already before he explodes from the tension of waiting.

“There’s no point in doing that,” Shino says, giving him a knowing look. “We gotta keep your revival under wraps for now. You know that.”

“I really don’t feel good about keeping this a secret from Kirito,” Eugeo mumbles, rubbing his arm.

“Well it wouldn’t be much of a surprise gift if he knew, would it?” Rika asks dryly. “ _Re-laaax,_ Eugi-kun. It’ll be fine. He’s held out this long without you!”

Eugeo sighs, slumping down into his chair. “I don’t know how he does it...it’s only been three weeks for me, and it’s been absolute torture without him...”

“Look at this lovesick fool!” Rika crows, slapping her hands on her desk. “I can’t _wait_ to see Kirito’s face when he walks through the door!”

“I’m glad at least one of us is enjoying this,” Eugeo says sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

“You need to stop teasing him,” Shino tugs on Rika’s hair this time, who whines cutely. “Save that for the party. Anyway, Eugeo, you’ll be here, right?”

He nods, eagerly. “Yeah. I think they’re gonna get me cleared by the 5th, and then I’ll fly in on the 6th.”

“And you’ll be staying with Alice, right?” Asuna asks.

“That’s right. I’ll be there to pick him up and show him around the city a little before we head back to my temporary living quarters for the evening,” the blonde girl confirms.

Asuna taps her chin, her eyes narrowed in thought. Then, her eyes brighten. “Oh, I know!”

Once everyone’s attention falls on her, she gestures excitedly. “What if we all met up on the 6th? Alice, I know you’re still not super familiar with the city, so we can all show you around together! And I’d love to be able to meet Eugeo-kun in person before Kirito-kun’s party.”

“Oooh, nice one, Asuna! That sounds like a great idea,” Rika agrees.

“If it’s after class, I should be free, yeah,” Shino nods.

“It’ll probably take me most of the day to get there,” Eugeo muses, “so I won’t arrive until later in the afternoon...I think.”

“Which is good timing for the rest of us,” Alice adds. “An evening out in town with you all...it definitely has some interesting merits.”

“You’re so serious all the time, Aliiice,” Rika says, leaning her head way back in her chair to look at the blonde girl upside-down. “Loosen up a bit, will ya?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m always like this. You’re the one that’s too laid-back.”

“She’s got a point,” Shino chuckles.

“Hey! _Hey!_ You’re my girlfriend, you should be taking _my_ side!”

Watching them playfully bicker causes a happy sort of warmth to bloom in Eugeo’s chest. While he doesn’t know them well enough yet, he wants to—getting closer to them will bring him closer to Kirito, after all. And before this, he’d never really had any other friends besides Kirito and Alice. Knowing that they all have even more friends they’re excited to introduce to him makes his heart beat with excitement. Bit by bit, his world is expanding...he wants to see every part of it, explore each nook and cranny, and meet all sorts of different people with Kirito by his side. Just like they did back in Underworld, but without any limits this time.

Asuna catches his gaze through the camera and beams at him. Her smile is contagious—Eugeo can’t help but giggle a little and grin back. Despite the fact that he can’t see Kirito right away, he’s thrilled nonetheless, and he knows everything will be alright as long as he has his new companions by his side. He sincerely hopes that with his return it will make the occasion Kirito’s best birthday yet...of course, they’d celebrated before in Underworld with his favorite pies and tea, and had given him little gifts and trinkets on his special day—but this means so much more, Eugeo thinks.

Suddenly, he jolts out of his seat. “Ah!”

“What is it, Eugeo?” Alice asks, immediately dropping whatever argument with Rika she was having.

Eugeo looks worriedly off to the side. “I need to get Kirito a birthday gift...”

“You shouldn’t worry about that,” Shino cuts in. “I think you showing up will be more than enough of a gift for him.”

The blonde shakes his head determinedly, his cheeks flushed. “No, no! I want to get him something. Really. I—I want to give him a gift from the real world, as proof...”

All of the girls glare at Rika before she can even say anything, who throws her hands up, a manic grin on her face.

Eugeo’s hopeful expression morphs into a defeated one. “Oh, but...that’s right, I don’t have any money in this world...”

“Rath should be able to provide you with something,” Alice tells him. “I get pay in return for continuing to report back to them and use their services. It should be the same for you, I believe.”

“Then that solves that!” Asuna chirps. “We’ll take you shopping too, Eugeo-kun. I remember Alice barely had any nice clothes when she first came here!”

“Asuna is very knowledgeable about modern fashion.” Alice states, giving the long-haired girl a soft side glance. Asuna looks back, her expression shy.

Eugeo blinks. _Oh? Since when were those two..._

He hides a grin. _Good for you, Alice._

Shino notices where his attention is and raises an eyebrow at him, a smirk on her face. Eugeo gives her a questioning look, and she subtly nods.

Huh. He’s glad he’s not the only one who’s noticing the apparent attraction between the two girls.

“So then, Friday?” Rika asks, oblivious to what just transpired.

“Friday,” Eugeo confirms. “I’ll text Alice to let you guys know when I land.”

“Perfect!” Asuna claps her hands together. “It’s going to be so much fun, Eugeo-kun, just you wait!”

“I’m looking forward to it,” he laughs.

Rika leans back in her chair to stretch, her arms reaching high above her head. “And to think, you’ll be reunited with your precious Kirito in just five days!”

“Five days...” Eugeo says dreamily.

“Hang in there for just a bit longer,” Shino says, her voice teeming with amused laughter.

“We’ll be sure to get you looking perfect for Kirito-kun’s party!”

Rika bounces in her seat, her eyes sparkling. “Oh, hell yes! We’ll make sure you sweep that game addict off his feet in an _instant._ ”

Feeling bold, Eugeo grins. “Trust me, I will.”

“Ooh-hooooh!” Rika giggles. “Looks like our softy boy has a more daring side after all!”

“ _Rika._ ”

“It’s a _compliment!_ You guuuys!” She whines. Eugeo chuckles to himself.

“We shall see you on the 6th, then.” Alice says, giving him a reassuring glance.

“See you then, Eugeo-kun!”

“Safe travels.”

“You’d better thank me for setting this all up for you,” Rika grumbles.

“Thank you, Rika-san,” Eugeo tells her, sincerely. “I’ll see you then.”

With one final wave, he disconnects from the call.

He sits there in silence for a while, his heart racing.

Five days. In just five days, he’ll be back by Kirito’s side again, where he belongs. His very being misses the black-haired boy’s presence—his encouraging words, cheerful smile, even his playful teasing. Once he sees him again he won’t ever let him go. He’s already decided not to.

He gets up and starts pacing around the room, his body tense with pent up energy. He’s not sure if he’ll be able to sleep between now and Saturday—too many thoughts swirl around his head, all centered on Kirito—the things he’ll be able to do with him, to see with him, all making his heart leap with joy. He hopes Kirito feels as exhilarated as he feels—well, at least, when he finally sees him again. Eugeo wonders what Kirito’s reaction to his revival will be. Will he be shocked? Will he immediately start laughing and pull Eugeo into a hug? Or will he be angry...?

Eugeo dismisses that thought, shaking his head. No, of course Kirito wouldn’t be angry at him. If Eugeo knows him as well as he thinks he does—and he _does_ —Kirito’s probably been blaming himself this entire time for his death.

He sighs. _Idiot. How could it have been your fault? If it’s anybody’s fault, it’s mine. For being so hasty..._

As soon as he sees him, he decides to resolve that right away. Kirito doesn’t deserve to have that burden placed on his shoulders, especially since Eugeo won’t ever go far enough from his side for him to worry again from now on.

He idly wonders how the raven has adapted to his absence. They’d spent two long years by each other’s side, barely apart—the first time they’d actually been separated had been at the Central Cathedral, and that wasn’t until the very tail end of their journey together. Even now Eugeo’s body is telling him it’s _not right,_ that something is missing, a familiar presence that he’s grown so attached to it’s completely bizarre to be without it.

But Kirito...Kirito has a life here, in the real world. Friends he’s probably known for far longer than he’s known Eugeo, like Asuna and his sister. A support system that’s been with him through it all. He knows they’ve been trying to help him recover from his trauma, the blow of losing Eugeo too unbearable sometimes. Eugeo’s heart thuds in his chest. Maybe Kirito’s better off without him after all? Is there even a place for Eugeo in his life right now? He doesn’t know. By now Kirito’s probably gotten used to the fact that he’s dead, so showing up out of the blue is bound to be an enormous shock...how will he adapt to that? Can Eugeo even fit into this type of world, into Kirito’s group of friends? He can’t help but second guess himself, even though he’d been so sure before. Maybe it’s just nerves that have him pondering this way—he’s probably just overthinking. Kirito will be like he’s always been, and will accept Eugeo with a smile...right?

Eugeo gnaws on his lower lip. What if he’s a completely different person than he was in Underworld? Here he has all of his memories intact, the knowledge of who he was before he’d met Eugeo that fateful day two years ago. Who knows, he might be far different than Eugeo has imagined, with a completely skewed persona that doesn’t tie into the person he’d met by the Gigas Cedar. He doesn’t even know Kirito’s real name in this world, having realized a while ago that the black-haired boy had simply been using an “online name”, as Rika and Asuna called it, to refer to himself by.

Although, the blonde has had a sneaking suspicion for a while now that Kirito wasn’t as amnesic as he’d seemed. Maybe that whole time he’d had his memories after all...but hadn’t been able to mention it, because everything he’d known had been from this world. It makes a lot of sense now that Eugeo thinks about it. He’s caught Kirito mumbling things under his breath that made no sense in context of the Underworld’s rules, but were perfectly understandable to a resident of this realm. And even with that knowledge, he’d still sacrificed everything to travel with Eugeo and take him all the way to Centoria for Alice’s sake—something he didn’t necessarily have to do. Even so, he’d chosen to stay by Eugeo’s side anyway, and promised to stick with him until the end, which he’d fulfilled. So perhaps things won’t be too much different, after all...

Either way, Eugeo knows that even if Kirito turns out to be completely different than what he expects, he still wants to stay by his side anyway. Despite his fears and hesitations this is what his heart is telling him to do—and he’s usually inclined to follow it, even right into the path of danger if he must. Whether or not Kirito has a place for him in his life isn’t something he can determine right now, so he decides to save those worries for later, when they get to that point. What matters most right now is seeing him, face-to-face.

A buzz echoes from his pocket and Eugeo checks his phone again—smiling at the message from Alice.

 **Alice:** _See you Friday. I’m quite excited. The city here is very different from Centoria. But don’t worry, we’ll take things slow so you don’t get overwhelmed._

 **Me:** _Thanks, Alice. I know things were really crazy last time we saw each other in person, but I’m excited to see you again!_

He waits several moments as she replies—and then laughs quietly after reading it.

 **Alice:** _I feel the same. This time there won’t be any endangering battles, thankfully. And no pontifex to tell us what to do. We can shop all we like._

Eugeo taps his phone to his forehead and grins, a feeling of exhilaration rushing through him. All of this planning is really hyping him up, and Alice’s point really drives it home—here, in a world that isn’t governed by a strict Taboo Index or a corrupt, unruly leader, the limitations that used to lie heavily on his shoulders are gone. Especially all of the intentions he has towards Kirito. There’s no stuck up nobles to tell him he’s wrong for being in love with his best friend, or a twisted system that probably wouldn’t even let him act upon those feelings. It’s absolutely liberating.

 _Five days,_ he thinks again, wandering out of the testing labs to find something to eat and further occupy his time. _Five days, and I’ll be home with you again._

_Wait for me, Kirito._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Higa, handing Eugeo a cellphone: I'm gonna have a field day teaching you how to use this  
> Higa: But NO INTERNET YET!! Too much for you to handle  
> Higa: Also wouldn't want to expose you to the porn  
> Eugeo: Porn?  
> Higa: Secret word. Ask Kirito about it when you see him  
> Kirito, 3000 miles away: *sneezes*
> 
> I totally headcanon that Aki, Rinko and Higa become like overprotective parents when it comes to Eugeo LOL and Kikuoka's the crazy uncle
> 
> Me: Eugeo's definitely petty I've witnessed that firsthand but he's not petty enough to be an asshole to Asuna about her dating Kirito once. He will be bitter. And jealous. But not a jerk lol  
> Also me, with my head in my hands: God these stupid fucking self-sacrificing dorks I hate them  
> ALSO ME, smiling like a big ol doofus: Alisuna Alisuna ALISUNA GAY RIGHTS
> 
> I love Liz being a little shit and teasing Eugeo NONSTOP. Eugeo is so whipped for Kirito and we all know it. Don't deny it
> 
> Back to the thing I mentioned at the start--idk how the LNs handle Alice's living arrangements so headcanon that Rath sets her up with a temporary apartment until they figure something else out. It's all paid for too, as long as she continues to cooperate with them in their research. This also includes her getting paid for that so she has real world spending money, which now also applies to Eugeo c:
> 
> I kept wanting to write Eugeo as his usual snarky self but really he's only like that around Kirito. He's super shy around the girls still, and he and Alice aren't acquainted enough for them to be 100% comfy with each other yet, so yeah. Once Eugeo meets them in person and warms up to them he'll start being sarcastic back at Liz and it's gonna be great
> 
> ANYWAY my schedule is hella packed this weekend and I've only started writing the third chapter so I honestly don't know when it will be up. If I'm lucky and my writing motivation stays it should be sometime next week! If I get time to work on it!! I have a wedding to go to tomorrow and then camping this weekend and then work all next week so--sob--I'll do my best...!! Once again if you wanna chat my tumblr is shima-draws! My ask box is open 24/7 and anons are welcome so :'D
> 
> Next time!! The girls take Eugeo on a wild shopping trip and he tries not to have a stroke from how overwhelming Tokyo is (Liz will also take lots of pictures and videos of him trying on clothes for blackmail. Gotta have some bribery/leverage over Kirito lol)


End file.
